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    #1   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:48 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Íàïîìíèòå , êóäà äåëñÿ áåëâåñò , òàñìàíñêèé ïñåâäîìîðæ è æèðèíîâñêèé
    #4   drochepezd @ 18.01.10 20:49 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
ãäå ÿ
    #2   äóðà÷îê 074ê3 @ 18.01.10 20:49 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
íåà
    #3   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:50 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
ôûâà
    #5   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 20:53 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Åâðåé, äîåõàâ äî äîìà íà òàêñè, âûõîäèò ìîë÷à èç ìàøèíû è íà÷èíàåò øàðèòü ïî êàðìàíàì, à ïîä íîñ áîðìî÷åò:
- ×åðò, êàæåòñÿ â ìàøèíå êîøåë¸ê âûðîíèë...
Óñëûøàâ ýòî, òàêñèñò íàæèìàåò íà ãàç è ñìàòûâàåòñÿ.
Åâðåé ãëÿäÿ âñëåä òàêñè åõèäíî ãîâîðèò
- À Ðàáèíîâè÷ íå âð¸ò, ýòî ïðàâäà ðàáîòàåò...
    #7   ubivator. dolbiii @ 18.01.10 20:57 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
àáûðü
    #8   ihLee @ 18.01.10 20:58 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
#5 Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #9   Ãðóôô @ 18.01.10 21:06 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #10   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:06 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Êðèçèñ â Ðîññèè. Ïÿòà÷îê, èñïóãàííûé, ïðèáåãàåò ê Âèííè-Ïóõó.
- Âèííè, Âèííè! ×òî æå òåïåðü áóäåò? Ìåä ïîäîðîæàë!
Ïóõ, àáñîëþòíî ñïîêîéíî:
- Ïÿòà÷îê, à ñâèíèíà ïîäîðîæàëà?
- Äà.
- Íó, çíà÷èò è ìåä áóäåò
    #11   áàðàòðóìòâîéäîìøàòàë @ 18.01.10 21:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Sad íàïîìíèòå ìíå êóäà äåëñÿ òèìàòèäîòà Surprised
    #12   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ìàëåíüêèé ìàëü÷èê ñ ëþáîïûòñòâîì ðàññìàòðèâàåò ñâîè ïîëîâûå îðãàíû:
- Ìàìà, ìàìà! À ýòî ìîè ìîçãè?
- Íåò, ñûíîê... ïîêà åù¸ íåò. . .
    #13   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:09 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ó÷èòåëüíèöà íà óðîêå ôèçèêè:
- Áåðåì ýáîíèòîâóþ ïàëî÷êó, êëàäåì åå â ýáîíèòîâûé ñòàêàí÷èê. . .
Âîâî÷êà:
- Ùà êààààê ýáàíåò! ! !
    #15   N0-N0 @ 18.01.10 21:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Surprised
    #18   Member1 @ 18.01.10 21:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #16   Ãðóôô @ 18.01.10 21:11 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #19   EG.Grubby @ 18.01.10 21:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #17   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #20   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:16 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ïîâåëà ó÷èòåëüíèöà äåòåé íà ýêñêóðñèþ íà ñòðîéêó.
Òàì ñëó÷èëñÿ íåñ÷àñòíûé ñëó÷àé (ñòðîèòåëü óïàë ñ ëåñòíèöå è ðàçáèëñÿ íàñìåðòü).
Âîçâðàùàþòñÿ äåòè â øêîëó è ó÷èòåëüíèöà ðåøèëà ðàçîáðàòü ñëó÷èâøååñÿ.
- Ñêàæè íàì, Ìàøåíüêà, êàê òû äóìàåøü, ïî÷åìó óïàë äÿäÿ?
- Äÿäÿ íå ñîáëþäàë òåõíèêó áåçîïàñíîñòè.
- À òû, Âàíå÷êà, êàê äóìàåøü?
- Hàâåpíî äÿäÿ âûïèë...
Âäpóã âñòàåò Âîâî÷êà:
- Håò! Äÿäÿ ðóãàë ìàòîì ìîþ ìàìó!
- Ïî÷åìó òû òàê äóìàåøü?
- ß ñàì ñëûøàë êàê îí êðè÷àë "Ìàëü÷èê, òâîþ ìàòü! Hå òðÿñè ëåñòíèöó!"
äóìàþ õàðîø, çàâòðà àïíó åñëè íå çàáóäó Shocked
    #21   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:22 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ìàëåíüêèé àíãëèéñêèé ìàëü÷èê òùåòíî ïûòàåòñÿ äîòÿíóòüñÿ äî äâåðíîãî çâîíêà. Ê íåìó ïîäõîäèò ÷îïîðíûé äæåíòåëüìåí.
- ß ìîãó ïîìî÷ü òåáå, ìàëûø?
- Äà, ñýð, íàæìèòå ïîæàëóéñòà.
Äæåíòåëüìåí íàæèìàåò íà çâîíîê.
- È ÷òî òåïåðü, þíûé äæåíòåëüìåí?
- À òåïåðü, äÿäåíüêà, óáåãàéòå!!!
    #22   ÓÑîâåö @ 18.01.10 21:31 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked
    #23   bRAZILR @ 18.01.10 21:43 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked
    #24   ÂåÑåËü×àÊ @ 18.01.10 21:51 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Shocked Shocked
    #25   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 21:53 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Íà óðîêå â øêîëå ó÷èòåëüíèöà ãîâîðèò:
- Äåòè, ïðåäñòàâüòå ñåáå, ÷òî âàøà ìàìà ïîøëà íà ðûíîê è êóïèëà àðáóçû. Âàì íóæíî ïîìî÷ü åé è äîíåñòè äîìîé êàê ìîæíî áîëüøå àðáóçîâ.
Êàê âû ýòî ñäåëàåòå?
Íà çàäíåé ïàðòå Âîâî÷êà òÿíåò ðóêó è õî÷åò îòâåòèòü. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà ïîäóìàëà, ÷òî êàêóþ-íèáóäü ãàäîñòü ñêàæåò, è ñïðîñèëà Ìàøó.
Âñòàåò Ìàøà è ãîâîðèò:
- ß ìîãó äîíåñòè äîìîé äâà àðáóçà.
- Èíòåðåñíî, à êàê?
- Îäèí àðáóç âîçüìó â ïðàâóþ ðóêó, à äðóãîé - â ëåâóþ.
- Ìîëîäåö, Ìàøåíüêà, ñàäèñü.
Òóò Ïåòÿ òÿíåò ðóêó.
- À òû, Ïåòÿ, ñêîëüêî àðáóçîâ äîíåñåøü.
- À ÿ äîíåñó òðè àðáóçà!!!
- À êàê?
- Îäèí àðáóç âîçüìó â ëåâóþ ðóêó, äðóãîé - â ïðàâóþ, à íà ñâîé îãðîìíûé äëèííûé ÷ëåí ÿ íàäåíó òðåòèé àðáóç!
Ó÷èòåëüíèöà â øîêå:
- Ïåòÿ! Êàê òû ìîã?! Òàêîãî ÿ ìîãëà òîëüêî îò Âîâî÷êè îæèäàòü.
À Âîâî÷êà óæå âåñü èçâåëñÿ, óæå ïåíà èçî ðòà ïîøëà, òÿíåò ðóêó õî÷åò îòâåòèòü. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà äóìàåò: "Õóæå óæå íàâåðíîå íå áóäåò", è ãîâîðèò:
- Íó äàâàé Âîâî÷êà, îòâå÷àé.
Âîâî÷êà âñêàêèâàåò è êðè÷èò:
- À ÿ ìîãó îòíåñòè ïÿòü àðáóçîâ!
Âñå â óäèâëåíèè, ýòî æå íåâîçìîæíî!!! Êàê?
- À âîò êàê! Îäèí àðáóç ÿ âîçüìó â ïðàâóþ ðóêó, äðóãîé - â ëåâóþ, à íà ñâîé îãðîìíûé äëèííûé ÷ëåí ÿ ïîñàæó Ïåòþ ñ òðåìÿ àðáóçàìè!!!
    #26   Øóì äîæäÿ @ 18.01.10 21:56 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #28   Member1 @ 18.01.10 22:00 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing
    #27   ÑÂÈÍÏÀÓÊ @ 18.01.10 22:00 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #29   No name 364[Î_Î] @ 18.01.10 22:10 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Cool Cool Cool
    #30   Ñóñëèê 364 @ 18.01.10 22:55 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #31   V4nz0r vbb @ 18.01.10 23:02 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
    #32   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 18.01.10 23:51 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
 øêîëå ó÷èòåëüíèöà:
- Äåòè, ñåãîäíÿ ìû áóäåì ïðîõîäèòü ñëîâî "îïðåäåë¸ííî". Ñîñòàâòå ïðåäëîæåíèå ñ ýòèì ñëîâîì.
Ìàøà:
- Íåáî îïðåäåë¸ííî ãîëóáîå.
- Íåò, ýòî íå ïîäõîäèò, íåáî áûâàåò ñåðûì.
Êàòÿ:
- Òðàâà îïðåäåë¸ííî çåëåíàÿ.
- Îïÿòü íå ïîäõîäèò, òðàâà áûâàåò æ¸ëòàÿ.
Âîâî÷êà:
- À ìîæíî âîïðîñ?
- Äà.
- À ïåðä¸æ áûâàåò êîìêàìè?
- Êàê òåáå íå ñòûäíî!
- Çíà÷èò, ÿ îïðåäåë¸ííî îáîñð4ëñÿ.
    #34   JobanutbIy @ 18.01.10 23:54 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #33   VIVALAAAAA @ 18.01.10 23:55 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #35   Ãàðàæ 36484 @ 19.01.10 00:04 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Óðîê áèîëîãèè. Ó÷èòåëüíèöà ãîâîðèò äåòÿì:
- Äåòè! Âû çíàåòå, ÷òî òû÷èíêà è ïåñòèê ó öâåòî÷êîâ - ýòî îðãàíû ðàçìíîæåíèÿ...
Ñ çàäíåé ïàðòû Âîâî÷êà:
- Á%%%ü... À ÿ èõ íþõàë...
    #36   Êîïåòàí_íåâèííîñòü[÷óòü-÷óòü â áàíå] @ 19.01.10 00:36 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Surprised Laughing Laughing
    #37   òðîëëü @ 19.01.10 00:42 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #38   Polkaaaaa @ 19.01.10 00:44 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #39   ñóïåð_ñî÷íûé_ïåð÷èê @ 19.01.10 17:27 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Rolling Eyes
    #40   TroubleMaker @ 19.01.10 18:02 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #41   Ãðóôô @ 20.01.10 18:07 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ãàðàæ ïðèâåò Laughing
    #42   SCHurSCH @ 20.01.10 18:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing
    #43   Dodje @ 20.01.10 18:08 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   

    #45   36484T DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA @ 20.01.10 18:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
    #44   FreeSlave @ 20.01.10 18:12 [ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ]   
Ðàçãîâîð äâóõ ïðîãðàììèñòîâ â òðàìâàå: Â÷åðà ìàòü íàãíóëàñü,âñþ íî÷ü ñ íåé 364ëñÿ,äàæå íå ïèêíóëà

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Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised Shocked Confused Cool Laughing Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink Exclamation Question Idea Arrow

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